


Little nightmares

by DarthEames



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Sweet Cullen Rutherford, The Anchor (Dragon Age), Trespasser, Trespasser DLC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 13:09:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12109401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthEames/pseuds/DarthEames
Summary: Fen'Harel doesn't let you go that easily.





	Little nightmares

When Cullen opened the door to the Inquisitor’s apartment suite at the Winter Palace he was hit with the smell of sickness and decay and the sound of a faint moan. Immediately worried, he rushed inside, a bouquet of forget-me-nots forgotten at the table near the entrance. Thoughts filled his head with images of assassins, dead qunari and something much, much worse, something that made his blood freeze in his veins as his mind went back to the nightmares of his youth, filled with rotting abominations. 

The war council parted with Mornemyr barely an hour ago after they had decided on their next action. She seemed more tired after her last travel and the blasted thing on her hand were acting up again but he trusted her when she assured him it was under control, and he believed it like a love blinded fool. He even left her alone to arrange for a dinner and find flowers. Now he was practically shaking as he kicked open the door to her bedroom drawing his trusty sword in one swift motion. 

The view that greeted him was nothing he had expected and that made everything even worse somehow. The smell was even stronger here but the only person he could see was his soon to be wife. He felt the sword falling from his weakened palm as his eyes followed the familiar and yet completely different curve of the body in the middle of disheveled bed. Myr has always been slim. It didn’t matter to him then. But now he could clearly see ribs poking over her hollow stomach, he could see the hip bone trying to rip through through the tight skin and her bare ankles so thin it terrified him. The center of all of it however was her hand with veins so dark green, they were almost black. The skin itself was inflamed, puffy and sickly pink with the open wound in the middle of the palm. The sudden flare of bright green light woke Cullen from the stupor and he rushed to the bed.

He carefully checked Myr’s pulse first, shivering when his fingers touched the cold damp skin of her wrist. Her heart was beating steady but twice as fast. The closer look revealed dark grey circles under her eyes and unhealthy flush on her sharp cheekbones. A few drops of sweat found their way on her forehead and temples. Every sign pointed to a fever. He should have called for a healer right away but he couldn’t leave her like this.

Myr mumbled something when Cullen reached to wipe a stray hair from her face, something elven judging by the sound of it. She was having a bad dream which reassured him in his decision to never leave her. She weighed nothing when he carefully lift her in his hands and moved away from the sweat filled blanket. Thankfully the bed was huge and Orleasians kept a supply of fresh bedding in every room so he covered her tightly and after some fiddling with the armor he laid down next to her, holding his love close.

***

_I’m running but the grey tail I’m chasing keeps getting away from me. It feels like I’ve been running for years now, forest around me had gone dead silent in the meantime as if my ear drums had been broken miles ago. I can only hear my heavy breathing as my paws hit the moss floor. The wolf in front of me mocks me with his presence, he seems close enough to touch but every time I take a leap to catch him he’s suddenly far away; his toothy grin and red glowing eyes are full of laughter. I’m desperate to the point my body aches and hot angry tears stream down my face when I choke, unable to take another breath._

_I know something bad will happen if I don’t catch him but I’m useless and I’m very tired of running. My paws stumble over each other when the glowy red fills my vision, and a high pitched laugh explodes in the middle of my head as I fall down on the ground. I can’t get up anymore._

_I have to. But I can’t. I’m weak._  
So.   
Very.   
Weak. 

***

“No, wait!!” Mornemyr twitched violently in his hands and woke up with the words clearly coming from her dream. She was breathing heavily trying to catch some air and his heart broke again seeing her huge blue eyes wide open, pupils moving fast, scanning the surroundings. 

“Mor,” Cullen called after her quietly, but even like this his voice scared her, made her jump in surprise. He let go, afraid to hurt her more. Heavy gaze focused on him, less scared and foggy now when her eyes registered familiar face. 

“Vhenan?” her voice was low and raspy and she had to cough to make it sound normal again. “Where are we?”

“Winter Palace,” the relief of her recognizing him washed over his body, leaving Cullen a little light headed. He reached to cup her cheek and she closed her eyes again. A tired sigh escaped from her lips as she turned to her side slowly and tucked herself to commander's chest. He pulled her closer, careful not to disturb the wounded hand, and automatically kissed the top of her had, the way he'd done it every night until they came to this place. 

“How long?” Cullen couldn't handle the heavy silence between them right now, not when he was worried to death because he could count every rib under his palm as he let his hand run up and down Myr's back. She didn't answer for some time and he thought she fell back asleep when she swallowed and shifted a little.

“Half a year”, came a muffled response and Cullen couldn't help but pull her closer and shut his eyes tight. He could lose her any minute, and over what? What was the reason for not telling him something this important? He thought she trusted him enough for her to share her life with him. When did he fail this trust? Where did he do wrong?

“Mor”, he started, but was interrupted by a stifled cry as she clenched her hand on his side.

“I'm sorry”, still muffled by his chest, words were now pouring out of Myr in an endless stream, interrupted only by a seldom hiccup. “I’m sorry, I thought I was handling it. You weren't supposed to see me like this, I didn't want you to worry, I thought I could deal with everything, I thought I could fix it. But I can't, I'm so weak, vhenan, I'm so tired. I'm so sorry…”

“You're the strongest person I know,” Cullen felt how he now was choking with tears too, his heart was about to explode from both worry and love for this woman he was holding in his hands. “But I thought you knew by now you don't have to deal with it alone.” 

“I know. I was just…,” the grip on his side weakened when Myr sobbed loudly, way too tired to keep herself together.

“Worried about all of us”, he finished the sentence for her, painfully aware of how truthful it was. She nodded in the agreement. “You should rest now. I'll call for the healer in the morning”, Cullen tucked an extra warm blanket around them so she would be warm in case the fever returns. 

“I'm leaving to find about the gaatlock tomorrow as we decided”, he didn't know where all this stubbornness was coming from when she barely had any body left.

“No, you aren’t”, and seeing how Myr was about to argue, he kissed her quickly on the lips and then looked right into her eyes. “And I don't care if half of Thedas blows up.”

Mornemyr only huffed in response, and it was obvious she didn't have any strength to talk more about it no matter how much she wanted to. He pulled her closer again, fully intend to not let go of her until he's sure there's no immediate danger to her life.

***

He should have known better. He should have called for the healer right away. But it was morning, and his soon-to-be wife was absent from his hands. There was a note on a pillow instead saying she has to finish it. 

Finish it his ass. Cullen jumped from the bed, picked up his mantle and stormed out of the Inquisitor's apartment suit at the Winter Palace. He was going after her, and Maker help the poor soul who tried to stop him.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated, thank you!


End file.
